Five Questions to Ask Yourself As You Prepare For Divorce

Five Questions to Ask Yourself As You Prepare For Divorce
Friday, March 23, 2018

Before you decide, make sure you thoroughly examine how your divorce will affect you and your kids



(press release: Vitale) // Raleigh, NC // Vitale Family Law

For some people, the decision to divorce is a catharsis of sorts. You have finally decided to end your marriage, and now you can get started on the path toward making it happen.

For others, however, divorce isn’t a yes or no question. Many people experience a roller coaster of emotions when deciding if divorce is the path they really want to take.

If you are on the fence about divorce, there are several important questions you should consider.

1. How Do You Feel about Your Spouse?

Divorce doesn’t always happen because one spouse dislikes the other. You don’t have to stop loving someone to divorce them. In some cases, a spouse’s serious character flaw or problem is the impetus for the divorce. For example, a spouse whose gambling problem has decimated the family’s finances may eventually be too much for the other spouse to endure. If you still love your spouse, you may want to consider counseling or other ways to explore mending your relationship before turning to divorce, as you want to make sure you are truly making the right decision.

2. Is Your Relationship a “We?”

Marriage is a partnership. Although different couples approach this partnership in a variety of ways, your marriage should ultimately be about “us” and “we”—not “I” and “me.” If you live the majority of your lives in separate spheres, you might be better off and much happier apart.

3. Are You Using Divorce as a Threat?

Using divorce as a threat to coerce another person into doing certain things or acting a specific way is unproductive and potentially damaging to a relationship. After a while, the threat also loses its steam.

4. Are Your Emotions Dictating Your Plans?

The best way to approach divorce is with a cool head. If you allow your emotions to dictate how you act during the divorce process, you are unlikely to make the best possible decisions in your case. Divorce is largely a process based in finance. As you divide your property, you need to be able to negotiate calmly and rationally. If you head into divorce unable to govern your feelings, you could end up prolonging the process and costing yourself unnecessary time, money, and frustration.

5. Can You Handle the Consequences?

Divorce is a major decision that affects every part of your life. If you have children, it will impact them significantly. Before you decide to divorce, it’s important to think about whether ending your marriage will make you happier in most areas of your life. Although staying married may require hard work and some tough times, divorce might be more difficult and ultimately unsatisfying. Before you decide, make sure you thoroughly examine how your divorce will affect you and your kids.

Vitale Family Law: North Carolina Divorce Lawyers

Divorce is a big step, but you don’t have to do it alone. Call the North Carolina divorce lawyers at Vitale Family Law today to discuss your case. You can reach us by calling 919-841-5680.