Being a woman is a unique experience that only women will understand. For centuries, female power has been oppressed, women’s rights were non-existent or abused, and the societal role of women was confined to the traditional mother/wife bounds. These days, women can enjoy the freedom past generations viciously fought for, vote, work, and be independent. However, despite that progress, women are still expected to fulfill the role of a devoted mother who always keeps a spotless house and works full-time. Additionally, research shows that 41% of working mothers, compared with only 20% of fathers, say that parental responsibilities obstruct professional success.
Allison Scarinzi, the founder of Lotus Psychotherapy, a full-time mother, a therapist, and a former addict, understands the challenges women face, aiming to shed light on the demanding situation. “As a feminist voice in the mental health sphere, I often get asked, How do I do it all? The truth is, I don’t. Women face tremendous systemic pressure to be successful at everything, never slip, never make mistakes, and always keep a smile on,” stresses Allison. “Too many women are scared to be authentically themselves, allow aging to happen naturally, allow their homes to look a bit messy, and not do all house chores. We need to move away from that.”
Though Allison’s self-awareness and confidence could now light up any room, her journey toward happiness blossomed from the addiction bleakness. As she recollects her memories, she says, “I am one of these odd cases working in the mental health industry. One day, everything fell apart. I lost it all and had to learn how to rebuild my life, heal, and grow.”
Before finding her purpose at Lotus Psychotherapy, Allison was a passionate social worker assessing different homes and their safety and helping determine child custody cases. When asked about the impact of her addiction on her social work, Allison admits it hindered her career and clarity, “I was the provider, working with child protective services and removing children from their homes. Now, I can see that I was often projecting my own addiction insecurities, deeming someone unfit to have custody.”
Though Allison was facing the same challenges as the people she worked with, it was easier for her to focus on their problems, neglecting her own well-being and sobriety. Losing a job and incarceration finally opened her eyes and ignited the change within. She reminisces, “There I was, a former social worker, locked away for DUI and stuck in the same place as the people I once judged for a living. I had no idea how my life ended up in this direction and had to build everything from scratch in full transparency.”
Allison's sobriety journey started at a female sober community, where she moved in for a year with a clear intention to restart her life. Many doubts and setbacks accompanied her throughout that intricate and intense voyage, from reconsidering her purpose in psychotherapy to questioning her value. That path inspired Allison to eventually return to psychotherapy and even worked alongside law enforcement as a mental health clinician for police calls.
During that time, when self-discovery, hurdles, and newly found happiness intertwined in a never-ending dynamic battle, Allison reconnected with herself, realizing how useful her skillset is in therapy.
“When you get sober, you don’t really remember who you truly are. That’s why taking the time to reflect is so important. Now, I carry these experiences and substance into my sessions, I have a new appreciation for life, and connect with patients more deeply,” she adds.
As a business owner who achieved success unusually, Allison resonates with the issues women - especially in entrepreneurial terrains - face. “When people see a successful woman, the first assumption is that they simply do it all. That’s just not the case. Every day, we fight to maintain our careers, have fulfilling relationships, and be supportive parents,” she shares.
Systemic trauma present everywhere makes it more difficult for women to thrive. Because of Lotus Psychotherapy, Allison noticed that these issues persist globally and regardless of industries and cultural influences, “That pressure stems from centuries-old gender roles, unrealistic expectations, and diminishing female value. When you let go of societal pressure and just start living your life, you’ll be able to see the world more clearly and radiantly.”
Inspired by the feminine energy that Allison feels surging in the world, she offers advice to aspiring entrepreneurs, mothers, wives, and all women worldwide, “Starting a business will have its obstacles; you might be struggling financially and won’t be able to live a lavish lifestyle. But as long as you enjoy what you’re doing, there will be no suffering. It’s important not to fall into the systemic trauma trap. My only advice is—when you stop having fun, it’s time to quit. We don’t have to bear so many burdens and accept more and more responsibilities to prove our value.”
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Name: Allison Scarinzi
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